trembling over the point I have made certain is down the road

When something that once seemed to occupy your entire being comes to pass, and it becomes hard to remember all the sensations and reasons that went with it, do you doubt if it's original existence was what you thought it was at the time, or do you mourn how far you have fallen from something once so dear to you? It seems like I can't help thinking about how certain it is that I will arrive at such a point a year or so down the road, and I am afraid of either possible turn of my insides. But I would like to think I will react the second way. I need to stop looking down the road and trying to see something too far away to really be able to study, and start enjoying the lovely things just ahead. I wonder if walking again and drinking less coffee would help. I quit drinking coffee for a little while this year, but I started drinking it again a few weeks ago. I've decided a cup or two is nice, but not everyday, and not like it's an IV attached to you during work. When I drink it in large doses, I do it because it makes me trembly and incapable of carrying any real line of thought. I am having so much trouble thinking as it is.

friend v. friendly

good early afternoon, friendlys.
at present, i happen to be enjoying a cup of joe, physically, not just blogospherically. jo. sharing/ offering/ beverages is one of the most universally accepted displays of goodwill and hospitality that i can think of. almost nicer than offering someone a cookie. a cookie can be offered, accepted, given, and eaten all in about 30 seconds. but having coffee takes your time, isn't it so?
a proper beginning, i should think.
i should think.
a midday toast to trying.

Opening

Lately I seem to be having a bit of a circulation problem. My limbs fall asleep at every possible opportunity. My solution: drink more water, and get some activity turning this little virtual location into a toastier one. Time to invite some additional painters.